Easier To Run
by DarkenTears
Summary: //COMPLETE// Kagome's words hurt Inuyasha more than he can bare.. As he thinks back on how everything went wrong, he recaps how painful his life has been so far. Can in the end Inuyasha go through with what Kagome asked him to do? ::ONE SHOT::


InuYasha stood his ground, feeling the night winds move his fire rat kimono as it passed by and the cold grass slightly sting beneath his feet from the temperature. He didn't move, he has been like this for almost an hour, his head down with his eyes closed, not that you could notice from afar since his bangs covered them. He was by a small pond, the water glimmering as the full moon shown that night and reflected its light over everything that couldn't escape under shadow.  
  
"Damn me... Why do I keep doing this?!," InuYasha screamed out only directed to himself, but as though wanting everyone in the world to hear, "Damn it!!!" InuYasha sat down cross legged fiercely all of a sudden, still having his eyes closed. "Why always me...," InuYasha asked himself as he now spoke in a softer voice, even if no one was around to notice it, "Why do I always have to be the bad guy...?"  
  
:::FlashBack::: "InuYasha!" InuYasha opened his eyes and looked down from the tree branch he was sitting on, looking down at the familiar girl he's been traveling with ever since the beginning, before the others of the group ever joined. "InuYasha!!!"  
  
"What is it?!," screamed back InuYasha, as to compete with her loud screaming. He knew what she wanted though, but he didn't want to address it at all. That's why he tried to hide in the tree tops deep in the woods. But he knew the girl was very persistent when it came to matters such as these, as would anyone be. 'I know I am at least....'  
  
He didn't want to deal with the problem he knew she'd ask him about at the moment, like he ever did. All it brought was heartache for her, and for him. But he couldn't do anything about it so he stood from his comfortable position. He sighed to himself and remembered to be as gentle as he can be on everything, not wanting to cause any conflict that'll back fire on him later. He jumped down and landed right in front of the reincarnated priestess.  
  
"InuYasha...," said the girl in the Japanese school girl uniform, "I wanted to talk to you about something..." The young girl of age fifteen was looking at the ground ever since she saw him prepare to jump down, and as she softly began speaking, she slowly gazed up and met her chocolate brown eyes with his amber orbs, "Your injuries have healed huh?"  
  
InuYasha looked at himself quickly and then looked back at the gorgeous girl's eyes, not being able to say anything bad nor close to it to her when she had _those_ sincere loving eyes, "Uh yeah, guess so...."  
  
"I thought as much... The way you jumped down just now and all. I sometimes forget your half demon and your injuries heal fast, even if it was that big of a battle..." Kagome paused and then got her courage back to continue, "InuYasha... I noticed that you were gone when I came to check on you after that big fight you had with that demon and I didn't find you..."  
  
InuYasha interrupted her, "I know..." InuYasha could do nothing, but stare back at Kagome, not wanting to try to touch her since he didn't know what she would do. He always hated this part of his life, having to deal with the other girl he loves, because not only did it always remind him that he's hurting someone he would never dream of actually hurting on purpose, but that he can never have _them_ both in the end. Weird how those reminders always come back to him somehow.  
  
"I knew... I saw her soul catchers before I went to go see you...," Kagome looked away from InuYasha slowly as her gaze came upon his kimono, "That's _why _I went to go see you. I knew already that I wouldn't find you there in the hut though..."  
  
InuYasha now felt more tempted to embrace her, knowing that that could at least ease some of her pain, as well as his own, but didn't move on the action in mind due to what happened next.  
  
She turned around and began walking, heading for the hut where everyone else was. Once Kagome hit a specific point however, she stopped and turned back around, water visible in her eyes, wanting to escape to show emotion, "I know you love her InuYasha... I can't stop you from loving her. So do me a favor... And just go with her already... And leave me alone... So I won't have to suffer like this anymore...." And with that, Kagome turned back around towards her path back to the hut, leaving InuYasha with a great burden. :::End of FlashBack:::  
  
InuYasha still felt the pain that came from her words, as it repeated over and over in his head. It stabbed his heart each time it ran through his mind, him more than wanting for it to be erased so he wouldn't feel the way he did. This was the only other time where he ever felt so weak, aside from when it was with _her_. Emotionally, physically, mentally... Like the weight of the world was upon him, waiting for him to brake. He couldn't take it, he couldn't bare it, he wanted everything to just disappear and be lost for eternity.

**It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb**

InuYasha began to imagine how it would be. A life without neither Kagome nor Kikyou. How he would of been off never meeting the two, and be on enjoying his own life and never once thinking on them the way he does now. The thoughts that came were even more painful than the words that ran through his mind.  
  
How could think such a thing? If he would of never met Kikyou the time and way he did, then he would of killed her for the Shikon No Tama and the images of Kikyou's blood stained all over him was unbearable. He quickly snapped out of it and mentally punched himself for ever thinking he could imagine such a horrific scene.

**It's so much easier to go  
Then face all this pain here all alone**

If it wasn't for Kikyou's demise, then he would of never of met Kagome. Strange how the death of a loved one brings another, only to find out later that she came only because your loved one died. And if that wasn't enough, the deceased one returned into the world of living, and now you had to chose. 'Everything happens to me,' InuYasha thought to himself, 'Yet some part of me is happy that it all happened?'

**Something has been taken  
From deep inside of me**

InuYasha remembered the day he was pinned to the tree, by the one he thought he could trust none the less. How much hatred gathered in that split second before the arrow took its affect completely, all towards someone he knew he could never hate. He felt betrayed, he felt hurt, he felt like his world fell apart. And for that moment, his world did. Once he was awakened again, all that anger returned the minute he could think back again. And the minute he saw someone that resembled Kikyou so much added to that fire, even though part of him still loved her.

**A secret I've kept locked away  
No one could never see**

He remembered how Kagome would act towards him at first, always trying to make peace, but himself always tossing it away due to her resemblance. He couldn't get passed it, no matter how much she tried to convince him that she was Kagome, _not_ Kikyou. And slowly as he began learning who _she _truly was, he began learning that who she was, was someone to his liking a lot.  
  
The whole time before Kagome actually met Kikyou, she didn't understand the real reason to InuYasha's hatred towards Kikyou. 'It couldn't be just about the pinning to the tree... It had to be more,' she'd always think. And in the end, she found out that she was correct all along. And as time went on, she also found out that the truth hurt her as much as it hurt InuYasha.

**Wounds so deep they never show  
They never go away**

InuYasha never once wanted to tell Kagome about Kikyou, about the love they shared. That would only hurt him, remembering back on it and even speaking of it aloud. Even in his head it tormented him to no end. Yet slowly it revealed itself to everyone paying close attention. And as it revealed itself, InuYasha remembered the pain from it all ending the way it did. But he'd hide it the best he could, and that just hurt him even more.

**Like moving pictures in my head   
For years and years they've played**

"Kikyou..." The scene at the lake came back to him. The sunset setting, Kikyou and him speaking about his transformation of turning into a human for life with the help of the Shikon No Tama so they could be together. And as they stepped out of their little raft once they rowed back to the dock, Kikyou tripped and fell directly into InuYasha's arms. Kikyou looked up back at him directly and he couldn't resist her beauty. They got closer and closed the gap between each other, feeling each other's embrace and soft lips.

**Sometimes I remember  
The darkness of my past**

InuYasha remembered the first time he met Kikyou. Hiding up on a tree with his back to her, watching her become exhausted by a recent demon battle. He continued watching her until nightfall, where he turned human. Kikyou then sensed his presence and bluffed attempting to scare whoever it is away with her words. Knowing her weakness, InuYasha couldn't resist but laugh as that specific part replayed in his head. He actually thought it was a little cute the way she tried to defend herself and scare him away. Pathetic, but cute.  
  
It began to rain and as Kikyou made her way to leave, she collapsed on the ground. InuYasha couldn't resist but leap off the tree and try to lift her up. But once he hears some voices and torches, he left her side. He slightly smiled at the memory, then quickly frowned ashis mind raced on to the conclusion of that time, 50 years ago.

**Bringing back these memories  
I wish I didn't have**

The day it all happened.... How she first appeared in the forest and shot at him, stunning him completely. He as revenge stole the Shikon No Tama, and then... InuYasha growled as he remembered another time, it all fuzzing into one big mess. He gave Kikyou his mother's shell compact, a prized treasure that InuYasha would never think of giving to anyone, but did. Proving that he did in fact care deeply for this priestess. And yet, when it all happened and he fell into the deep spell, he regretted ever giving such a worthless wench such a honored object. He regretted everything from that point on and never wanted to even hear Kikyou's name, but deep inside it all was different.

**Sometimes I think of letting go  
And never looking back**

Kikyou was revived using her ashes and dirt from her tomb, as well as part of Kagome's soul. She then saw InuYasha and immediately wanted him dead, not even listening to her sister's words. InuYasha's pleads. She did everything in her strength to destroy him, but as Kagome called back her soul, she had to flee. InuYasha still loving her followed her, then watched as his grip on her hand loosened and she fell down a cliff... The guilt that followed were more painful than any of Naraku's attacks.

**And never moving forward so  
There would never be a past**

He couldn't go on. If he had been awoken the time that Kikyou died and was burned with the jewel, he would of wished he was still pinned to the tree to join Kikyou in the afterlife. Yet he was just in dormant, and that wouldn't happen. He wanted it to be as before, where he and Kikyou would spend time together and never think of anything else but themselves with each other in life, for eternity if it was possible. Then it almost happened once again, where Kikyou kissed him once again, but her body had no warmth. To drag him to hell with her is what she wants, and that is not the Kikyou he once loved.

**Just washing it aside  
All of the helplessness inside**

All he wanted to do was sleep forever, not experience anymore of this drama he called his life. Be at peace, be in paradise. But that wasn't an option he could chose, and it never has been after that dreadful day.

**Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
It's so much simpler than change**

Then she came along, and everything seemed to make sense again. Kagome changed him for the better, even if he didn't want to admit at first. He never thought he'd fall for another human, but she was different. She wasn't Kikyou, she's her own person. He learned that in time and he was more than glad he did. She brings out the best in him and makes him smile when everything seems to be going downhill. She makes him know there always a brighter sides to things, and that the ground is not a good friend (If you catch the joke). She helps him realize that true love does exist and always have. Forever will...

**If I could change I would**

InuYasha opened his eyes and looked into the pond, seeing his own reflection. "Is this what I've become? Am I always going to be like this?" He saw a depressed looking hanyou, not knowing what to do and haven't been knowing ever since this all started, ever since Kikyou returned.  
  
It's been tormenting him for so long and he had enough, but he knew there was no way of ending it if he still loved Kagome and Kikyou, and he knew he always will. InuYasha hit the water with his claw and his image in the water fazed, causing him to just close his eyes again in frustration. Frustration over the pain he felt, and the confusement.  
  
"InuYasha....?"  
  
InuYasha quickly jerked up and opened his eyes, knowing the holder of that voice. He could never mistake it for anyone else. He stood up slowly and turned around, coming face to face with Kagome. He couldn't find the words to say, but in his mind he kept repeating 'Thank You' for her choice of coming to look for him. He knew this was going to be another one of those hurtful hated moments, but he was ready for it. Well, as ready as he could ever be.  
  
Kagome didn't look at InuYasha in the face as he walked towards her, overshadowing her once he stood in front of her. He couldn't stare into those eyes, those eyes that were one of the reasons why she loved him so much. She slightly gulped and began speaking softly, wanting the correct words to come out, "I know... I know I can't replace her... No matter how much I try. Even though in reality I wouldn't want to since she means so much to you... You will always have a space in your heart for her and I understand that."  
  
InuYasha this whole time stood still, not wanting to move like earlier that day, but listening intensively to every word and not missing a breath, "But I hope that... That there's space for me too... Even a little part. In your heart. That way I know I can stay with you as long as I can..."  
  
InuYasha got the words to speak once he saw tears forming in Kagome's eyes, even if she wouldn't look him straight in his. He could smell them, even sense them somehow. "What about... When you said that... You wanted me gone forever."  
  
Kagome now made the decision to look him in the face, knowing her answer would have more of an effect that way, "I can't live without you InuYasha. I can't no matter how much I may want to convince myself I don't belong here between you and Kikyou."  
  
Kagome's cheeks were now stained with trails of tears, her not being able to contain them any longer. She couldn't stop showing her hurt, her pain from all the memories of seeing Kikyou and InuYasha together. And she knew, she knew that even if she went back to her time and never returned, the memories would haunt her and betray her, begging her to go back to InuYasha's side.

**Take back the pain I would**

InuYasha immediately moved closer to Kagome, hugging her tightly and showing no signs of wanting to let go. Kagome was taken back by this and held her cries, wanting to hear what he had to say after this sudden hug. InuYasha knew he would never be happy if one of them were gone, but in the end something will happen that'll make him decide. But to think on that now is not the thing to do. The thing to do is enjoy what he can, so he wouldn't have any regrets, even if he knew he would because he wouldn't be able to keep them both. Even so, he still wanted Kagome, even if he also loved Kikyou.

**Retrace every wrong move that I made I would**

"Kagome... I'll always protect you. Nothing will stop me from being by your side."  
  
"But what about your pro - ......"  
  
"My promise, I will still keep it. I owe that to Kikyou... She gave her life for me, even when she could of saved hers with the jewel. She wanted to join me in the afterlife..." InuYasha could feel Kagome begin to cry again, and wanted nothing more at the moment to stop that from happening. He couldn't bare to see women cry, especially _his_ women. "But even so...," InuYasha slightly smiled as he tried to ease her pain, "I'll be with you until then. I'll stay alive as long as I can, just for you."

**If I Could  
Stand up and take the blame I would**

Kagome smiled as well, not really knowing InuYasha already had a smile on his features. Kagome got closer to InuYasha in comfort, whispering 'Thank You...' as soft and sweet as possible. InuYasha's smile grew and he began to embrace every second of this moment, wanting it to never end.  
  
He knew until everything's over and done with, the jewel is complete and Naraku's defeated in Kikyou's revenge, nothing will be okay, but if this was what he had to go through, he was glad. Because it gave him two people that he loves and love him back, even if it was hard at times. He was glad he met Kikyou, he was glad he met Kagome, and he's glad they share the same feelings back. Even if it is hard juggling the two in a matter of speaking and having your feelings tear you apart. 'Something will happen to resolve this love triangle... But until then.... I'll cherish this. Until hell comes and I'm dragged in it, I'll cherish it all.'

**I would take all the shame   
To the grave**

A/N: I noticed many people have a FanFiction based on InuYasha and Kagome to this song, but I guess I just joined them because I couldn't resist myself from writing it and posting it online. Oh well, if people like it or not, it's their choice. If you are kind enough however, please leave a review telling me how bad this is. Also if there's any errors. Thank You & Have A Nice Day!!!


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